“Ignorance is not bliss—it is oblivion.” - Philip Wylie
First up on our list of mind-killers is oblivion. In general terms, oblivion is defined as “the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening.” Regarding the mind, it is the inability to observe thoughts objectively in real time. It is identifying with them instead of noticing them. It’s a fundamental ignorance about yourself.
Oblivion is the initial mind-killer we must tackle because virtually every other destructive mental tendency we have stems from inappropriately interacting with our minds at this foundational level. And the downstream effects make matters worse. If you can’t disengage from any of your internal chatter, you will follow it wherever it leads. Resisting this inclination is the absolute bedrock of mind fitness. So, let’s explore oblivion and what it looks like for most people.
A friend familiar with my work once sent me a meme on Instagram that read, “I am not my thoughts. I am the thinker of my thoughts.” He shared it with me, believing it reflected some of my sentiments. But I disagreed.
“You are not the thinker of your thoughts.” I stated, “You are the observer.”
He replied, “But that makes me feel like I’m not in control of my thoughts.”
“Exactly,” I said. “That’s the point.”
Of course, many would respond to my assertion similarly. Because our thoughts originate in our minds, and we are the only witnesses to them, we assume we also consciously generate and direct them. It certainly innately feels this way, which only reinforces our belief in the veracity of that feeling. We go about our days not paying much attention to the process, identifying with and taking ownership of everything going through our heads at any moment.
Ultimately, the line between our thoughts and ourselves tends to blur. While we may not express it explicitly, we usually act with an underlying attitude that we are not only creating and controlling these internal appearances but that we and them are one and the same. Most people never reach the “I’m the thinker of my thoughts” stage. Most of the time, their modus operandi is, “I am my thoughts.”
However, if we take the time to examine what’s going on, we can quickly see this isn’t true. We are not the composers of raw mental data. We do not consciously produce it. It just shows up.
If you doubt this reality, try the following exercise. Pick a topic. It can be anything—a book, a movie, or even a color. It doesn’t matter. Now close your eyes and try to think of nothing but that thing for as long as possible. Focus all your attention on it alone. You probably won’t even last ten seconds before your mind drifts to something else. However, if you have never tried this, it could be minutes before you realize what’s happened.
Once you do, ask yourself if you deliberately chose where your mind went. No, it simply happened. Some thought popped into your head and diverted your concentration, and then you chased it down the rabbit hole. Now, extrapolate that to everyday existence, and hopefully, you recognize that’s how our minds work all the time. There’s a reason we call it a stream of consciousness. The nature of thought is as inexorable and unpredictable as running water.
This isn’t to say you can’t actively direct your thoughts. But even when you do, others interfere. They constantly wander in, intruding and altering your perception. Unfortunately, we use the word “think” to describe both processes—deliberate concentration and the arbitrary appearances in our minds. We would be much better served by distinguishing between those two actions and giving them different monikers. For now, however, we are stuck with what we have. The important takeaway is not to conflate them. The former is, in fact, a reaction to the latter. And you can’t decide what the initial input will be ahead of time. As Sam Harris says, “You don’t think things before you think them.”
It took me until I was in my mid-forties to realize this fundamental nature of the mind. Before that, I was in the same boat with most people. Whatever thought came to mind at any given moment was me. But the reality is that thoughts are like any other source of information. It’s a media stream you don’t have to take personally or hold yourself responsible for.
If you watch a video or listen to music, you intuitively understand it isn’t yours. It’s simply data that you can pay attention to or ignore. When streaming a playlist on Spotify, there are certain songs you enjoy and others you don’t. In both cases, you act accordingly. You might sing along or, conversely, skip over a track. There are some shows and associated personalities you love, while others make you roll your eyes.
Of course, there’s information we get emotional about at times, whether it’s the latest story from our favorite 24-hour news network or a comment on our social media feeds. But acting this way is by no means required on our part. Even if we go to the extreme of screaming at a screen broadcasting something we vehemently despise, we can objectively assess the situation for what it is—simply a reaction to something rarely directed at us.
The critical insight is that your mind is no different than a radio, television, or cell phone. Every day, it’s bombarding you with 60,000 pieces of information in the form of thoughts. Three-quarters of that number is what we would label as “negative.” And yet, you didn’t author any of it. So why give it more importance or credibility than it deserves? If you can move on to the next song or YouTube video suggestion, you can do the same thing with whatever nonsense is showing up in your head.
Once you can disassociate what you think of as you from your thoughts, then whatever notion comes to mind at any given moment can become as silly or nonsensical as what you see on television. Because it’s just raw data. And even though you are the only person experiencing it, you don’t have to own it. But until you figure that out and act appropriately in response, you are lost in oblivion.
Now, the trick becomes cultivating the proper countermeasure through training and practice. In the following article, we will dive into developing awareness.
DISCLAIMER: RARE SENSE® content is not medical advice. Nor does it represent the official position or opinions of any other organization or person. If you require diagnosis or treatment for a mental or physical issue or illness, please seek it from a licensed professional.
Such wonderful, clear writing. I'd sign up for this class any day. Odd that we'd be stuck with 3/4 or our thoughts negative instead of positive. I wouldn't have designed it that way. Thanks Chris. I'd recommend this essay to everyone!